11.07.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:30 pm by Jenny
My friends daughter was a normal teenager, with all the usual teenage rebelliousness.
Little did we know that the girl was suffering from a severe form of anxiety disorder till the day she attempted suicide, leaving a letter saying that she felt that she was unable to cope with life any more.
Where did my friend go wrong? Why did she not recognize the seriousness of the symptoms of anxiety disorder in her child? What could she have done about it? What can she do now?
These are some of the issues that will be addressed now, and here are some tips to help you cope, if you feel your child has an anxiety disorder.
First and foremost, what are the symptoms of anxiety disorder? The child has a heightened sense of worry and anxiety, as distinguished from normal anxiety, which may manifest itself physically in nervous sweating, headaches, nausea and vomiting, and mentally affect her thinking and cognitive abilities and skills.
The child may be restless, suffer from phobias, remain keyed up and on edge, and may find it extremely difficult to recover from the anxiety attack plaguing her.
If you find any of these symptoms in your child over a sustained period of time, consult your doctor immediately. You could help save your childs life.
How do you deal with anxiety disorders in your child? Remember, these disorders are treatable, and you as a parent must watch out for symptoms and deal with the anxiety in consultation with your doctor. Here are some suggestions:
- Make sure that your child is given proper nutritious food. A healthy diet is half the solution to a healthy mind and a positive outlook towards life.
- You must ensure that your child gets enough exercise and outdoor aireveryday. Physical exercise helps in the circulation of blood through the body and the brain, and will release the feel good factors that will help your child improve her outlook towards life and overcome her anxiety.
- Your physician will provide you with a plan for coping, and for evaluating the stress your child is under, so that you may be able to help her cope better.
- Your physician may offer medication, and this does work, but make sure that the dosages are kept under moderation and not used over the longer term.
- For severe cases, psychodynamic therapy is offered today, and while this addresses your childs underlying fears and anxieties, you as a parent can help her cope.
- Behavior therapy is also used in certain conditions, and such therapy has proven to be greatly useful in alleviating the symptoms of anxiety disorder in your child, no matter what may have caused them.
Do not worry; maintain a positive outlook towards life yourself, and believe that everything will be back to normal shortly. Most importantly, believe in your child, and make sure that she knows you love her and care for her. A loving parent can do more wonders for a child than the best medicine in the world would be able to. Keep trying!
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11.05.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 2:01 pm by Jenny
Have you ever heard these words, Thats it! Take it or leave it! or Dont tell me to do this again! I will not! or have you said these words yourself: I am wasting my time with you! Negotiating with you is a completely useless activity! or I will meet you in the courthouse soon. Good bye…
If you have heard or said these words at any point of your life for any reason, it is time you learnt one very important fact of life: that you cannot do without negotiation, no matter where you are or what you are doing.
While some people may say that negotiation is an art, some others may say that it is intuitive, and one need not have to actually learn how to negotiate with others.
But the fact remains that most people do not know the basics of how to negotiate in such a way that you will be able to get what you want, and it would help greatly to learn at least the basics.
Here are a few tips to get you started:
- Be willing to negotiate: Negotiate, even if you think and know that it is rude, or if you feel too shy to do it. Remember, there is more to making a deal than simply shying away from it, and if the other person knows that you are shying away from it, he will take full advantage of it, and why not? Anyone would!
- Try not to get too involved emotionally in the negotiation process. While some people may start to shout and scream in anger, others may react the opposite way, but the trick is to remain firm, remain calm, and know what you want, and wait patiently until you get it, using your negotiating skills.
- At times, you may need to sign a contract. You may not like what you are reading, and may feel that such stipulations must not be there. What do you do? Do you simply sign it, or do you cross off the things you dont want? You must choose the latter option; after all, you are the person signing the contract, and why should the other person get all the benefits?
- Another trick is to try to never be the one to name a figure. When you are asked, What is your hourly rate? do you fumble and quote a figure that is lower than what you intended to quote? I used to do exactly that, until I learnt my lesson. I ask the other person to quote his rate, and I have often found that the figure he quotes is, most of the time, much higher than I would have dared to quote.
- If you do not want to be rushed into making your decision, make up an imaginary figure of authority that you have to defer to before deciding. This will buy you more time, and let the other person think that you have an expert someone to talk to before deciding.
- Even if it is difficult, try to walk away, acting like you are not interested. This will help the other person decide rather quickly, especially if he is impressed with you and does not want to lose you.
- Be prepared. This in itself can pave the way for excellent negotiation skills, and when you know what you want, what you wouldnt mind giving up, and what you would eventually settle for, it is a matter of ease to negotiate for the best deal.
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11.04.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:45 pm by Jenny
Quitting smoking was one of the most difficult things to do in fact, many of them fail when they tried quitting.
Each time you fail in your quit attempt, you feel guilty and weak and unsure of your ability to overcome such difficult hurdles.
But looking back on it, it was the failed attempts that teaches the most about what works and what doesnt.
Research on change of habits and have multiple strategies for success in your plan.
There are a few keys to changing bad habits. Create a plan based on these keys, before you start to implement your habit change, so that you are well prepared and well positioned for success:
1. For each habit, identify your triggers. What situations trigger your smoking habit (waking in the morning, having coffee, drinking alcohol, stressful meetings, going out with friends, driving, etc.)? Identify all of them, for each habit.
2. For every single trigger, identify a positive habit youre going to do instead. When you first wake in the morning, instead of smoking, what will you do? What about when you get stressed? When you go out with friends? Some positive habits could include: exercise, meditation, deep breathing, organizing, decluttering, and more.
Read more at Zen Habits
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11.03.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:59 pm by Jenny
Possessing a positive attitude in life will help you tide through many a disaster, and conquer many a storm.
If you are an individual with a positive attitude, it means that you are a person who focuses on the positive side of life, while trying to ignore the negative, at least to a certain extent.
Adopting a positive attitude will help you cope better with your life and with the problems it deals you with unfailing regularity, and helps you deal with stress and its related problems.
Remember, nobody is ever born with a completely positive attitude; it is something that has to be developed and polished over a period of time, and the extent to which you can do it would again depend upon your positive attitude towards life.
As an adult, and as a responsible parent, it may be entirely up to you to make sure that you develop a positive attitude in your child, so that he can face the challenges of life as he grows into an adult.
Here are some tips to help influence your child into being the positive person that you are:
- Teach your child to never ever say the words, I cant! Not only will this sort of statement make him feel inadequate, it will also make him lose his self worth, and develop a negative attitude in him. He will feel that he is no good at anything he does; he will not succeed, and that he need not even try for it. Instead, teach him to say, I wont! This will give him a sense of control over the situation, and make him take up the responsibility for making such a choice. You as a parent must get rid of this attitude and teach him to think positively.
- Teach your child to recognize the point at which he has started to think negative thoughts. For instance, when he is painting, he may make a mess, and this may start him thinking, Oh! I am no good at this! Maybe I should simply give up! Teach your child to think instead, Oh! I may have made a mess this time, but it doesnt matter! I will try harder next time! This way, he can become a positive thinking person, and this attitude will be reflected in all his actions.
- You as a parent must grab every chance you can to tell jokes, laugh, and generally act silly. When you adopt this attitude with your child, and make him smile and laugh along with you at every chance he can, then you are on your way to building a positive energy filled happy home.
- Grab every chance you can to say, I love you! to your child.
- Grab every chance you can to demonstrate the affection you feel for your child, in a physical way, even if he makes it clear that he does not like it. Hug your child, pat his hand, smooth down his hair (I know he hates it!) pat his back, and offer him kisses every now and then. Even if it looks like he does not appreciate all this, it will influence him greatly in his attitude towards you, and towards life in general. He is on his way towards becoming a completely positive person, because of you.
Remember, small things go a long way, and it is time now to develop that positive attitude in your child already. What are you waiting for?
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10.31.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:15 pm by Jenny
My friend George was trying his best to quit smoking, at the same time that I was.
While I would get de motivated rather quickly, and I often found that I was not able to resist the temptation of a quick smoke out in the garden, George continued to avoid smoking, and he finally managed to quit smoking altogether, while I struggled on still, with my now severely limited quota of a single pack of cigarettes per day.
Why did this happen? Why was George more motivated than me, and why was he able to stick to his self given guidelines? All these questions prompted me to examine the issue, and heres what I found; maybe it will help you get motivated into doing things and remaining committed to doing them.
George confessed that he tried using motivation boosters, and it was because of these that he remained so determined until the end. He revealed the secrets to me:
- Try using music: Music is a great mood booster, and will motivate you into attaining high energy levels. You can dance away to the music, and it will definitely bring a great smile to your face. You will automatically be motivated.
- Try writing down your thoughts: Write down your thoughts, including the advantages and the disadvantages of what you are trying to achieve at the present time, no matter what it may be.
- Try to visualize your impending success: This will make the end appear much closer than it actually is, and you can redouble the efforts you put into it. Visualize your feelings of satisfaction when you actually achieve your goal: imagine the feeling of joy and satisfaction, and the feeling of self fulfillment and the boost to your confidence!
Visualize the end whenever you feel that you cannot go on any longer: it can prove to be a great motivation booster. Dieters often paste photographs of themselves when they were much slimmer on their refrigerators, to remind themselves of their ultimate goal, and to help them visualize clearly the result of all their dieting efforts.
- Achieve your Goal: Try to make sure that you recognize that achieving your goal is your top priority in life, and that your goal is within your reach. For instance, dont dream of losing 50 kg off your body when you cant even lose 20 kg. Attaining even small goals at a time can serve as a great motivation booster.
- Take it one step at a time, and remain confident of attaining your goal. Reassess your goals from time to time if necessary.
- Give yourself a reward! Whenever you achieve even a small part of your goal, reward yourself. This is an excellent motivation booster, and it works quickly.
I must confess that I tried these quick motivation boosters, and today, I am a non-smoker. Thank you George for showing me the way to do it.
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