10.29.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 7:33 am by Jenny
Are you being candid? If you are being true, real and keeping it simple, you will be open and candid. They are like flipsides of a coin.
Mind, intention and character will all come together, synergized in and through, what and how you have to say and deliver something verbally!
Goals, Direction, and Intent… worded differently, encompass a clear aim and purpose…
There has to be a reason and goal, purpose and motivation for something ‘oratory’ to be deemed successfully delivered!
- Find out your strengths and capitalize on them.
- Being true and purposeful, deliberate and open is important. Deception and hidden agendas will NOT be acceptable.
- Being empathetic and understanding is critical as well.
Speaking up with ability and confidence…
You are your own best/worst enemy when in these public speaking situations. Are you tapping into your strengths and resourcefulness? You have only yourself to rely on when you are up there ‘speaking’.
You have to anticipate and be at the ready for anything. You should reflect and introspect as often as you can. You will have to plan and prepare EVERYTIME! Sometimes you will even have to make the choice to take the risk of failure if necessary.
If you do fail, learn from it and move on! Be inspired and embrace your talents, discipline and practice. Your mastery is an ongoing work in progress.
You can use everyday conversation and public events to practice your skills, often and as frequently as you possibly can as you keep refining your skill and competence. You will also grow more self-confident [Improving Self Confidence] because of it and things will start to happen more naturally for you anyway!
First and foremost this is not about you (but it is in a way). If you are trying your best to get better at what you do, it should first and foremost be for yourself, NOT FOR OTHERS, to brag, be seen or gain acceptance, praise and the like. Be modest AND honest!
Earnestness:
Someone once aptly expressed and stated that ‘Earnestness is the natural language of sincerity and high purpose.’ I read this somewhere and it made such a lasting impression.
Your voice, looks, and gestures also tell a story. Is it the same and/or consistent with the words that you are using?
Not everyone does public speaking for the same reasons. Even if the audience is cold and non-responsive, it will be up to you to engage and inspire! You are their call to action and involvement.
- You are not violent or aggressive.
- Your gestures will be well thought out and effectively executed.
- Avoid exaggerated behavior like shaking of the head, rolling the eyes, twisting and contorting the body, meaningless gestures, they distract and are highly ineffective. They undermine your purpose and intent!
- Write and speak with the full spectrum of inflection, emphasis, pause, tone, pace gestures and more!
- Harness your abilities and competencies to serve the greater good and be successful in public speaking and all arenas of your life for that matter.
See public speaking and the interaction, verbal exchange and connection, as a great opportunity to share in the human condition! You will be greatly rewarded if you do embark down this path.
To deal with emotions…
Everyone expresses how they feel and act differently and uniquely. NO TWO OF US ARE THE SAME. There is no one-size fits all solutions here. Some general considerations and recommendations, however, might be in order and ‘help’ us all:
- Shyness: eyes=lots of side-glances.
- For calm and tranquility: eyes=mild, face=composed, and the body=relaxed repose.
- Violent grief beating with hands, stamping or the feet, and running about distracted.
- Courage: posture and body/figure=erect and free in its movements, with voice=full and firm.
- Pride: eyes=lofty looks and erect head, firm body, open
- When fearful: voice=weak and trembling, the lips, face and body=shake, and the heart beats violently.
- When dealing with anxiety, dejection, and grief, face=relaxed muscles, downward expression (contraction of the facial muscles) body=visible relaxation of the whole body.
- When serious, earnest, things with gravity and depth are in question: eyebrows=lowered, lips=shut firmly, eyes=vacantly resting on something far
- When expressing positive feelings of love, sympathy, devotion, and kindred feelings, voice pitch=high, eyes=soft/gentle luster, and maybe even a smile.
- When expressing surprise, wonder, and amazement: eyebrows = elevated eyes=open, and a soft, somewhat aspirated voice.
- When dealing with sorrow and grief: corners of the mouth= drawn down.
Here are some example emotions to master and experiment with.
Admiration, Anger, Appeal, Awe, Command, Courage, Cowardice, Defiance, Exasperation, Exultation, Gladness, Hatred, Hope, Indignant command, Joy, Miscellaneous, Patriotism, Resignation, Reverence, Sadness, Scorn, Sublimity, Surprise, Terror, Threat, Triumph.
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10.27.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 4:47 am by Jenny
One of the keys to becoming less ruled by what your mind tells you is to learn the skill of watching your mind.
You can do it, but it takes time and practice. Your mind didn’t start throwing evaluations at you overnight. It’s been going on for a long lifetime.
The skill of watching your mind will take practice and commitment, but it’s a powerful tool for changing your experience of anger.
To get started, try completing the exercises as described below.
Each exercise will help you detach from the compulsion to evaluate and believe those evaluations. Do one exercise at a time to see which ones work best for you.
It’s important to give yourself enough time with each exercise. These exercises are not magic bullets. They require practice.
A good starting point is to set aside at least ten to fifteen minutes each day to practice an exercise. Give each of them a few days of practice before moving on to the next.
Exercise: Mind Watching
Mind watching requires you to be a true observer of your consciousness. Here’s how you do it:
- Start by taking a series of slow, deep breaths. Keep this up through the entire exercise.
- Imagine that your mind is a medium-sized white room with two doors.
- Thoughts come in through the front door and leave out the back door. Pay close attention to each thought as it enters. Now label the thought as either judging or nonjudging.
- Watch the thought until it leaves. Don’t try to analyze or hold onto it. Don’t believe or disbelieve it. Just acknowledge having the thought.
- It’s just a moment in your mind, a brief visitor to the white room. If you find yourself judging yourself for having the thought, notice that.
- Do not argue with your mind’s judgment. Just notice it for what it is and label it “judging—there is judging.”
- The key to this exercise is to notice the judgmental thoughts rather than getting caught up in them. You’ll know if you’re getting caught up in them by your emotional reactions and by how long you keep the thoughts in the room. [Anger and Emotions]
- Keep breathing; keep watching; keep labeling. A thought is just a thought. And you are much more than that thought.
- Each thought doesn’t require you to react; it doesn’t make you do anything; it doesn’t mean you are less of a person.
- As an observer of your thoughts as they pass in and out of the white room, let them have their brief life. They are fine the way they are, including the judging thoughts.
- The important thing is to let them leave when they are ready to go and then greet and label the next thought—and the next.
- Continue this exercise until you feel a real emotional distance from your thoughts. Wait until even the judgments are just a moment in the room—no longer important, no longer requiring action.
Exercise: Separating Thoughts From Angry Feelings
This exercise will help you learn to detach your thoughts from angry feelings.
- Start by recalling a recent situation where you felt angry. Try to visualize what happened, what was said.
- Take some time to carefully build a picture of the event. Now remember some of the thoughts you had during the episode.
- As you recall what you were thinking, notice if the actual feeling of anger is starting to return. If it is, that’s good. Let it happen.
- Keep focusing on the judgmental or blaming thoughts connected to the incident. Really get into them. And if your anger feels a little sharper, a little stronger, that’s fine, too.
- Now go back to the white room. Imagine that your anger is hurling those judgmental and blaming thoughts through the front door.
- Take a deep breath. Inhale slowly, and then let your whole body relax as you release the breath.
- Keep this up while you start watching your mind. Observe and label the thoughts.
- Watch each thought from a distance—without believing or getting entangled in it.
- Don’t make the thought bigger or smaller, don’t agree or disagree. Just watch and breathe, noticing that the thought eventually leaves and a new one takes its place.
- Keep this up until you feel a growing distance from the thoughts—and perhaps from the anger itself.
Exercise: Riding The Wave Of Anger
You now have a chance to learn to ride the wave of your anger rather than be tumbled about by it.
- Think of a recent situation where you felt mistreated and upset. Visualize the scene; try to recall any irritating things that were done or said.
- Notice your judging or blaming thoughts. Keep focusing on the upsetting scene, as well as on the judgments you made about it.
- Let your anger rise till it’s a four or five on a scale of one to ten.
- Now go back to the white room mentioned previously. Observe your thoughts. Label the judgments.
- The thoughts aren’t right or wrong, true or false. Acknowledge their presence without trying to control or change them, without trying to push them away. Breathe deeply; keep watching your mind.
- At the same time, notice the emotional wave in the room with you. Be aware of the point where your anger stops climbing.
- Feel it leveling off and starting to diminish. Experience the slow ride down the back of the wave.
- Accept wherever you are on the wave. Don’t hasten to get past it. It moves at its own speed—all you can do is let go and let it carry you.
- Just watch your thoughts entering and leaving the white room, and notice the progress of the wave, nothing more. Keep watching until the anger has completely passed.
Exercise: Finding Compassion In The Dark
Imagine that it’s night. You are in a field with hundreds of unseen people. On one edge of the field is a cliff—it would be an extraordinary and terrifying fall.
The cliff is really everyone’s worst fear—death, shame, failure, aloneness, loss, helplessness. No one can see it. No one knows where it is.
Now imagine that you and all the other people in the field will live your lives there. You must find food, love, and companionship in the darkness. You must keep moving yet somehow avoid the cliff.
You’re always a little afraid, always uncertain, because the darkness never lifts. And you must find all that you need to live without falling into the abyss.
This is our human condition. People cope in different ways. Some race headlong; some hesitate to make the smallest step. Some cling; some push others away for fear of being dragged past the edge.
Some give up; some seek to understand, forever trying to pierce the darkness. Some demand help; some comfort themselves by trying to help others.
Close your eyes and be in the field. Feel how we all struggle there. Feel how we try to move, to take care of ourselves, while always sensing the presence of the cliff. Everyone walks that dark field; everyone is scared; everyone is doing the best they can.
Now think of someone you care for (such as your partner, your child, or your best friend). Keep observing your thoughts and feelings while imagining that person walking around in the dark field. They are hoping not to fall, just like you.
Be aware of their fear and struggle. As you do so, the wish may arise in you to help them, to be by their side, and perhaps to comfort them. That is all fine. Keep holding the same image while watching each thought and feeling come and go.
Now think of someone who makes you angry; watch the judgmental thoughts that start to form. Keep observing your thoughts and feelings while imagining that person navigating the dark field.
They are hoping not to fall, just like you and the person you care for. Be aware of their fear and struggle. Is it different from yours?
Keep holding the image of their fear and struggle while watching each arriving thought and feelings. This may be more difficult to do, because you don’t like that person very much and you may keep getting caught up in judgmental thoughts.
Still, keep holding the image of their fear and struggle while watching each arriving thought and feeling.
Notice that your task in this exercise is not to stop your anger or your judgmental thoughts. There’s no reason to change what you experience. Your experience is what it is, and it does not harm you.
But what you are doing here is something extraordinary that you may have never done before: you are adding compassionate awareness to your experience, so that your anger is balanced with full appreciation of the challenge of being human.
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10.26.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 4:32 am by Jenny
Several people make a decision to change their lives for the better once they came to a conclusion that life has gotten boring and there is definite room for improvement.
However, is community involvement and volunteerism is one aspect of self improvement which people might glaze over.
On the other hand, the truth is that the act of helping other people has big potential for improving a person’s self esteem besides to improving social, occupational, and educational status.
It just feels good to help other people. The person is assisting the community in one way or another if he or she volunteers to feed hungry people, or walk dogs at a shelter, or work at an information desk, or maybe even get involved in a community theater group,.
Therefore, self improvement is augmented by community improvement. It is a powerful feeling when people know that they are needed, wanted, and helping can turn the make the world a better place.
Volunteering
People should volunteer in a capacity which appeals to them and by doing so the act of volunteering will definitely derive happiness to them. It’s one of the perks of volunteering.
Where should a person volunteer? A lot matters on a person’s particular situation. Everybody will not have the ability to dedicate 40 hours a week to a cause, but fortunately there is a volunteer opportunity for just about any schedule.
For Stay at Home Parents
Some organizations will also provide child care for people while they volunteer, giving many stay-at-home parents the break they need and deserve. Actually, volunteering for some people is really the only time they get to be in a social setting.
If getting out of the house is not much of an option, many people volunteer as phone counselors or even phone visitors to elderly people, and can do so right out of the comfort of their home.
Other folks help with mailings or creating brochures and other publicity for volunteer organizations. The possibilities are never-ending, and the payoff is huge.
A person can lead to other things through volunteering. Many times organizations look to hire people who are already within the structure, including volunteers.
This means, for instance, that a person volunteering in an administrative capacity for a charity might in the end find themselves being offered a paid position.
Through volunteering a person can also receive valuable training which they may have otherwise required to pay for it.
Students and other people looking to enter a particular field can learn all they can by volunteering for a position within that field. The experience can go on a resume and possibly help a person in landing a dream job.
Obviously, volunteering has all the facets of self improvement. With volunteering a person can boost self esteem, learn a new trade, improve a social life, pad a resume, and do something good for the community all in one position.
To take on some volunteer opportunities should one of the goals when a person sets out on a quest for self improvement. When a person’s main objectives is to do more good and to help people in need, he or she will never go wrong.
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10.25.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 6:16 am by Jenny
After the recent overhaul of their website, Fitness Australia have now unveiled their new blog. The primary author is Fitness NSW Executive Officer Robert Barnes.
I have had a number of conversations with Robert and I know his team have great goals in place for their organisation.
For those not involved in the fitness industry, Fitness Australia is the governing body for fitness industry businesses and professionals. They work to improve the fitness industry by setting and enforcing standards with their members. So if you are looking for a fitness centre or personal trainer, you need only look for their logo.
This site should be a great tool for keeping up to date with what's happening, so even if you're not a trainer, bookmark it now!
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Posted in Uncategorized at 4:19 am by Jenny
The ability to see, envision and imagine, painting a verbal picture with words.
Calling into your minds eye and imagination vivid images and analogies, metaphors etc, is a powerful tool and utility to have that will make easy your public speaking more and more as you master and hone your craft. It can be mightily powerful.
Always try to picture and envision, see in your minds-eye and imagination what you are reading about.
Try and verbally describe and paint the picture to someone else. Write things you see and impressions you have in your own words.
A great way to exercise this skill is to often practice writing things from memory. Try and describe something around you vividly. Try a raging storm, a sea-landscape, a battle-scene in a movie, the starry sky at night, a camp-fire.
These will all help you hone and harness your visualization [Visualization Techniques] and projection qualities and abilities.
Paying attention and concentration…
Developing and keeping your interest in something will help you greatly when practicing and utilizing this skill. Typically there are things that get and keep our attention easily:
- Some things familiar and comforting
- Things that give us pleasure
- Expectations
The inherent or learned ability to focus on ONE THING ALONE is a great skill for a public speaker to have. You will be less distracted and better able to keep track of your thoughts, process, progress and delivery, all at once.
Strong mental discipline, daily practice and ongoing mastery, raising the bar is the only way to victory on this important aspect of public speaking.
You have to work on both your attention span and the ability to remember things well (memory).
- Repeating things helps.
- Interest develops over time.
- You will not be distracted that often and too much anymore the more you do it and focus on ONE thing and remembering it!
Mental focus and concentration should come with ease and no straining. Healthy body, healthy mind and soul! TAKE THE TIME TO FOCUS AND REMEMBER!
In the spur and heat of the moment… being spontaneous!
All art must be preceded by a certain mechanical ex-pertness, and this is particularly applicable to the subject of diction, voice production and expression.
Sometimes you will not be all-consumed by the mechanics of the process, you will just give over and enjoy, letting things flow naturally, practicing your craft.
Other times you will be dealing with the mundane routine practice of almost basic rote skills, mechanistic techniques and details to get BETTER and REALLY GOOD at it!
Eventually it will take little to no effort on your part anymore. The more you do it, the better and more natural it will become. Almost like second nature. It becomes more accurate, predictable and reliable and you will start using it with more confidence, the more familiar you get with it.
You will discover the joys and secrets of being spontaneous rather then repressing emotions, enjoying the freedoms of ‘speech’ rather than the restraints and limitations. It will become natural and easy for you over and in time.
The skill of discussion and dialogue:
How you handle and express yourself every day, while in interaction with others, will all affect how you come across in public speaking situations.
Discussion is a dialogue
- Ease and correct use is paramount
- You can keep improving and improvising as you go along
- The simplest and most direct form of vocal expression.
- Less formal
- Beginning of speech culture
Public speaking is a monologue
- More formal
- Requires increased definiteness
- Less improvisation and thinking on your feet – more planning and deliberate execution
- On occasion, special event or happening (planned purpose)
- All said and expressed is tailored to suit the circumstances of space purpose and number
- More deliberation in style
Giving a speech in this fashion does not come naturally to any or all of us! It feels and is in fact different!
By paying close attention to what it is that you are actually doing, you will and can have great success. Practice it with ease, naturalness, and variety of good conversation, avoiding loudness and you will discover your ‘inner voice and talents’ quickly! USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.
Keep the things really simple…
Keep your expressive art really simple and really effective and mastered. Keeping things simple, does not mean you have to repress, ignore or dismiss everything.
Rather it implies that you should actively and hands-on, intelligently make use of all the expressive arts and skill in your arsenal through sincere, direct, and spontaneous effort.
Put differently… if you keep it simple, it will in effect be exactly that SIMPLE!
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