11.17.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:44 pm by Jenny
What do you do when you have done something horribly wrong? Being human, it is inevitable that we will make mistakes.
However, most of us dont make mistakes, say hurtful things or not complete tasks intentionally. The main problem is that most people dont like to admit their mistakes.
Admitting mistakes will not mess up your reputation; rather it moulds you as a better person. Here are a few ways to help admitting your mistakes:
Be sympathetic: Realize that your mistakes might affect others feelings and recognize the pain youve caused. If you can feel the pain which youve caused the other person, it makes it easier to admit your mistakes.
Be sincere: Dont pretend to be feel sympathy or feign concern about their feelings. Be sincere and dont cheat yourself and those who trust you.
Take responsibility: Dont try to blame others for your mistakes. Most people try to intelligently cover their mistakes by blaming others.
Even if the other person is really responsible for your failures or mistakes, dont try to blame them. Accept your faults and try not to repeat them again.
Learn from your mistakes: Admit your mistakes or failures in life and consider them as good lessons for success. Try not to repeat them again and again.
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11.14.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:30 pm by Jenny
If you think you can cruise through your life without any major goals, it would be impossible to lead a complete and fulfilling life.
To lead a self-actualized life, you should set a few life goals that are truly worth accomplishing.
Though it is much easier to set goals than to achieve them, there are ways to make them attainable.
Here are a few simple tips that can really help you to accomplish any type of goal:
- Have a strong reason and sense of purpose to accomplish a goal. People often make the mistake of setting goals without thinking too much about them. Ask yourself: Why it is important for me and why do I want it?
- Explore different ideas to reach your goal. Write down everything that you can do to reach your goals and plan accordingly.
- Be positive and imagine yourself accomplishing the goals successfully. This is very important, since you should not get distracted from the focus of your goal.
- Speed up your learning process by seeking help from successful people. You can also get help and guidance from your family and friends.
- Be passionate about achieving your goals. Striving towards your goals without passion is just like fire without enough fuel. Stick at them, especially when the going gets tough and when your confidence is low.
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11.13.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:19 pm by Jenny
Do you ever feel like you have a hundred things to get done and not enough time to do half of them?
We are all busy people, but sometimes we get so caught up with catching all the falling plates that we sacrifice doing the things we really want to be doing, the things that align with our desires and contribute most to our personal wellbeing.
We sometimes make the mistake in thinking that we are super human and will be able to juggle it all with great success.
No need to write it down. I can handle it! As more tasks get piled on, soon we become bombarded by the thoughts of tasks yet to be completed.
And this added pressure will distract us in ways that are counterproductive to our goals.
Not writing these tasks down is just part of the problem; even if we wrote it all down, what if several tasks are equally important or dependent on one another? How do we prioritize conflicting to-dos? After all, we only have so many hours in a day.
How do we break out of this cycle helplessness caused by an overwhelming number of priorities waiting to get done?
How can we better manage and execute the activities that matter to us, such that we feel empowered and in control?
Read more at ThinkSimpleNow
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11.12.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 2:30 pm by Jenny
We all may not be aware of something: social anxiety is a form of anxiety that has to do with expecting to be judged and expecting that the outcome will not be too good.
This sort of fear and anxiety and worry may occur in any social situation, and may have started when the individual was still a child.
Take the example of Bobby. He was a nice looking man, in his early thirties, and when I spoke to him, he told me that he could trace his social anxiety related shyness back to his childhood years, and his actual anxiety of being with people and of being judged unfavorably by people he didnt know, to his teenage years.
Bobby happened to meet a sociable girl, fell in love with her, and married her. He started to depend on his wife to use her social skills for both of them; even simple things like booking an appointment with a dentist were handled by his wife.
If there was a parent teacher meeting at school, Bobbys wife attended. This way, Bobby was actually able to avoid most situations where his social anxiety would show up, but this was not the right approach at all, as Bobby discovered to his dismay when he was called up by his manager for a minor problem in the workplace.
His social anxiety left him sweating and fumbling for words, and he did indeed gave off a wrong impression. Some of his other symptoms, when he was put in a social situation were:
- Sweating
- Muscle tension
- Rapid heartbeat
- Stomach upset
- Trembling
- Dry mouth
- Nausea
- Great difficulty in making eye contact
Social anxiety was an ongoing problem in Bobbys life, and although he was aware of it, and he berated himself about it every time, he was not able to overcome it.
However, therapy, in which he was taught cognitive strategies helped Bobby a great deal, and today, he is a well adjusted young man, an active parent, and a sociable individual, who can handle any situation comfortably, without getting too anxious or frightened about it.
These are some of the symptoms that indicate social anxiety. Do you have a problem in any of these areas?
- Talking to people in authority
- Meeting and making friends with new people
- Developing close relationships
- Answering the telephone, or making a simple phone call
- Driving
- Eating and drinking in public, where there are several people around
- Using a public toilet
- Shopping
If you feel that you or someone you love suffers from any of these symptoms over a period of time, then consult a physician immediately; he will be able to help and guide you. Remember, this is a treatable disorder, and therefore, there is nothing to worry about.
Here are some strategies to help you or your loved one overcome your social anxiety:
- Examine your speaking skills. Do you really think you have a bad voice, or is your problem related to anxiety about how you will speak to a stranger, in public? If so, then try to convince yourself that everyone makes mistakes. You are not alone!
- I know you may think I am being silly, but try to make some gaffe in public, deliberately, the next time you are in a social situation. How many people did you observe looking at you? Did you become the center of attention? Or did everyone simply mind their own business? See, everyone makes mistakes, and there is no need for you to feel singled out, and anxious about your actions.
- Try to be aware of your anticipatory anxiety, which is a part of the social anxiety that we are talking about, and prepare for it by thinking of various situations where you would perform actions that would perhaps bring attention on you. Be prepared for the anxiety, and when you finally face the situation, you will be shocked at the simplicity involved. There is nothing to be anxious about, if you look at things in their right perspective.
- Learn relaxation techniques or meditation. These will help you a great deal in overcoming your anxiety and nervousness.
- Take up some form of exercise; exercise is always good for you, and it will make you look at the positive side of life.
- Your physician may prescribe anti-depressants for you. Make use of these.
Your life is yours, to make what you can out of it. Develop a positive attitude, and remember, you are not alone, and there are many others like you.
It is all a matter of looking at things in their proper perspective. Never give up hope.
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11.10.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:30 pm by Jenny
Does your child feel embarrassed to talk to strangers? Does he worry excessively about what others will think about him? Does he always tend to avoid social situations? Is he always hesitant about making friends?
Is your child shy? Remember, shyness is normal, but only to a certain extent.
Shyness stems from an exaggerated sense of self, and generally, the shy child feels easily embarrassed and worries about what the other person will think of him, or of any particular actions of his.
Although it may be true that shyness cannot be cured, one can learn how to handle it, so that one may be able to cope with the various situations that life hands out.
Also remember, extreme shyness can, if left untreated, turn into what is known as social phobia, which describes an intense fear of social situations, and the child will be left with a phobia of attending public functions and social gatherings, leading to a fear of interviews, of getting a job, of meeting people, of any kind of situation at all that may involve an interaction with a group of strangers, in a strange environment.
If you feel that your child is excessively shy, take action now. Do not wait! You will be paving the way to a better future for your child.
Here are some expert recommended strategies to help your child overcome his shyness:
- Connect with your child
- Never ever make your child feel bad about his shyness. It is something that he cannot help, and if he only could, he would not be a shy person.
- Empathize with him, even if you are a bubbly type of person and cannot understand why your child should be shy.
- Try to let your child know that you know what it feels like, and if applicable, let him know that you were also a shy child. You could let him know how to face situations that frighten him, and how you did it as a child.
- You could teach him strategies that would help him deal with his shyness. You could do your own research, or consult a psychologist who will guide you. Ask your friends and relatives what they did to help their shy child. Follow whichever method suits your child best, but do not keep harping on it; it will only make the situation worse, and he may become even shier than he was before.
- Enroll your child in a variety of situations in which he has to interact with a group of children of his age, like for instance, a sports activity, a painting class, a debate club. This will make him meet new people, and allow him to make new friends. He could also use his newly acquired strategies to overcome his shyness.
No matter what you do, try your best to make your child face his shyness with the intention of overcoming it, before he reaches adulthood. A shy adult in general terms is an under-achiever as compared to his more open peers.
Start today!
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